Sat-nav Lover Gifts

Aliens outside coffee house, one says: 'This is great, we never end up in hicksville towns since we got sat nav.'

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

'It's okay - he knows how to use the GPS.'

I always play the GPS through the backseat speakers. That's were I'm used to receiving instructions.

"GPS? In case we get lost? Why would we need that? We're microchipped."

'Backseat driver...'

"This one's the anti-collision computer and that one's the GPS..." "But there's no room for me!"

"Recalculating."

Sat Nav: G Spot?

'Kid, you flunked the driving test. But you get high marks in audio system tuning, cell phone fumbling, and GPS fiddling.'

"Oh no - the sat-nav's gone. How can we find the hotel now?"

Lorry driver goes through woman's living room: 'Sorry for the intrusion, love ... blame the sat nav.'

Intelligent Navigation Device...

"Thank goodness for SATNAV, I don't think I'd have found you otherwise."

If you're reading this, your sat nav system has failed.

"Next time, forget the breadcrumbs and just ask for directions."

Queen of Hearts with Sat Knave.

'Just think, dear - with the GPS up front and my mother in the back, you can be nagged in stereo!'

"I could have gone to Eton but I never had the Sat Nav."

'In your price range I can rent you my wife and a foldout map.'

'Hope this thing's right.'

"Damned Sat Nav!"

The Inevitable Navigation System: 'You have arrived at your destination.'

The trips gone to Hell - 'Excuse me sir, we seem to have lost our way...'

Two flies at a flower.'You and your stupid rubbish SAT NAV!'

Sat-Navvy

"You should have listened, I warned you that we were approaching the end of the pier..."

"In 187 cubicles, turn right and the exit will be on your left."

"In two miles, psychologically prepare yourself to make a left across four lanes of incoming traffic."

There's one up there.

"At the first opportunity, make a U turn."