Sat-nav Savvy Gifts

"I was looking where I was going, I was watching the sat nav!"

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

'It's okay - he knows how to use the GPS.'

I always play the GPS through the backseat speakers. That's were I'm used to receiving instructions.

"GPS? In case we get lost? Why would we need that? We're microchipped."

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

"Technology's taken the romance out of off-shore banking."

'Backseat driver...'

Voice of GPS: 'Recalculating...'

"This one's the anti-collision computer and that one's the GPS..." "But there's no room for me!"

'In two meters turn left!'

Sat Nav: G Spot?

G.P.S. for Poor Math Students

'Kid, you flunked the driving test. But you get high marks in audio system tuning, cell phone fumbling, and GPS fiddling.'

"Are we there yet!"

"Oh no - the sat-nav's gone. How can we find the hotel now?"

Lav Nav

Intelligent Navigation Device...

"I thought it was an error. THE GPS said 'time to destination 23 months'."

"Next time, forget the breadcrumbs and just ask for directions."

Fat Nav

'Not only does this car park itself, but if it dents the car behind it, it leaves a note with the wrong phone number. Just like I do!'

"I could have gone to Eton but I never had the Sat Nav."

Aliens outside coffee house, one says: 'This is great, we never end up in hicksville towns since we got sat nav.'

'Just think, dear - with the GPS up front and my mother in the back, you can be nagged in stereo!'

'Before I got a pair, I'd sometimes just walk around aimlessly.'

"Recalculating."

'In your price range I can rent you my wife and a foldout map.'

Satelite Navigation: "...And this one's great for locating your teenage children."

"Do I put Google Maps on driving or walking directions?"

The Inevitable Navigation System: 'You have arrived at your destination.'

"In two miles, psychologically prepare yourself to make a left across four lanes of incoming traffic."

"You should have listened, I warned you that we were approaching the end of the pier..."

Two flies at a flower.'You and your stupid rubbish SAT NAV!'

"In 187 cubicles, turn right and the exit will be on your left."