Sat Nav Guru Pillows

'Just think, dear - with the GPS up front and my mother in the back, you can be nagged in stereo!'

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

I always play the GPS through the backseat speakers. That's were I'm used to receiving instructions.

"GPS? In case we get lost? Why would we need that? We're microchipped."

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

'Backseat driver...'

Voice of GPS: 'Recalculating...'

"My GPS got an upgrade...if you argue with it, it REALLY tells you where to go!"

Sat Nav: G Spot?

'In two meters turn left!'

Tourist follows an arrow over a cliff.

'The only good advice I got all day was from my GPS.'

G.P.S. for Poor Math Students

'Kid, you flunked the driving test. But you get high marks in audio system tuning, cell phone fumbling, and GPS fiddling.'

"Oh no - the sat-nav's gone. How can we find the hotel now?"

"Are we there yet!"

Lav Nav

"I thought it was an error. THE GPS said 'time to destination 23 months'."

Intelligent Navigation Device...

"Next time, forget the breadcrumbs and just ask for directions."

"I could have gone to Eton but I never had the Sat Nav."

Fat Nav

Aliens outside coffee house, one says: 'This is great, we never end up in hicksville towns since we got sat nav.'

'Before I got a pair, I'd sometimes just walk around aimlessly.'

You Are Here: river, woods, grandmother's house.

'In your price range I can rent you my wife and a foldout map.'

"Do I put Google Maps on driving or walking directions?"

"Recalculating."

The Inevitable Navigation System: 'You have arrived at your destination.'

"You should have listened, I warned you that we were approaching the end of the pier..."

Sat-Navvy

"In 187 cubicles, turn right and the exit will be on your left."

Two flies at a flower.'You and your stupid rubbish SAT NAV!'

"In two miles, psychologically prepare yourself to make a left across four lanes of incoming traffic."

"At the first opportunity, make a U turn."