Sartorial Simplifier T-Shirts

Masters of Sameness

Men's Suits. I hear being suave and sophisticated is coming back in style. That's just an urbane legend.

'I know one of my shoulders is lower than the other. It's because my father's guiding hand is always on that shoulder.'

"1-1"

"Perhaps this slide whistle can better illustrate what this graph is telling us."

"That shirt is so last year."

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

'Any questions?'

"Meanwhile in Dogtown... Put your tongue back in your mouth. And pull up your pants. That’s not what your mom said last night."

"It's from an American company that wants to do some outsourcing!"

"Did you see that trimmed-up earlier than thou look on her face, just then?"

Phone Mittens

Boss: '...Let's not forget who our customers are!' (It turns out they just have one left).

'You're never going to win any race in those platform shoes.'

'I've taken the liberty of simplifying the latest data.'

"Relax, I'm coming for the suit."

DOH should create a simple prevalence formula that works.

'I'm going to grow a beard when I get older.'

"I'm looking for a tie that retracts a statement."

Interior Un-Decorator: We Help You Downsize!

"Welcome aboard, Withers. Now just go see Personnel on seven, and Pants on twelve."

"Start Monday...I like the cut of your jib, young man"

"You look great."

"Apparently, he's well over 100 now."

'Okay you can get dressed. That will help me determine the billing.'

Henry followed the dress code at inappropriate times.

"Profit, loss, why must you all make everything so complicated?"

'You got haberdashed!'

Let's try to get a different sponsor next year.

"Oh, didn't you know? It's been changed to Black Tie Friday."

"This is our successful 'Flat Broke Bum' designer suit. Lots of investment bankers and car plant CEO's ordered it!"

'What's next? Shoes we can walk in??'

'This is a teeny. Do you have it in a weeny?'

GoodWitchBadWitch.com, online clothes catalogue for moody people. What do you think?