Sarcastic Home Decorator Pillows

"Wouldn't this one look nice shrivelled up in the kitchen?"

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

Dog Hunting Trophies.

Do it yourself books.

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

"Oh just ignore him!...he always shows off when we have visitors!"

'Okay, kids...time for your bath.'

'I'm not sure how you managed to burn a bowl of cereal.'

"Oh that, that's my holiday home."

'I wasn't to know it's a live shell officer, we've been using it as a door-stop for years!'

'It's a coffee-book table.'

Pollock Painting Company

'I told you I didn't want to talk about it!'

Superintendent

Dog Bookends

'No, I wouldn't like a free quote for central heating! Where did you get this number?'

Home Sweet Home.

"So does George still enjoy his woodworking?"

Uses for Deactivated Missiles: Objects d'Art

"Are you willing to relocate?"

"The decorator was here. He said we should have a room in which we don't sit down."

"No, this is the elephant."

'Nice decorating. I like the clothes and toys everywhere...and the half eaten sandwich really ties it all together!'

Stuffed animal head falls on man.

'Justin, what did I say about storing your anteater there?'

"Larry, did you water the plant?"

Furniture faux pas: The coffee table coffin

"It's off-white, but a little too off. It may get very tiring. What do you think?"

Bird sees 'No Vacancy' sign on birdhouse

Dog and Teddy bear Kennels

Bowel Sweet Bowel.

"Home security isn't subtle. If you've got it, flaunt it!"

'Unfortunately, I ran out of the satellite dish system but this has the same warranty.'

You'll never believe what that house is for.