Sarcastic Economist Pillows

"It's only by cultivating a deep mutual trusting relationship with clients that you'll get the chance to shaft them more than once!"

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

'This country is on the road to ruin.' - 'Well, it'll never get there in this traffic.'

"Delegating authority is good. Delegating blame is better."

'Let's just wait here until the federal stimulus returns.'

The First Fire Stick

Made in China

Armstrong, the only doctor covered in the new health plan you got me is a veterinarian! Beats no coverage. Yeah, if you're a parakeet. You're so cheap. You don't value me at all. You ingrate. I didn't have to give you health benefits. Lots of employers don't cover their animals. You mean workers. Stop your barking.

'Did you clear this through Legal first?'

'Let's hope the new norm means that less really is more.'

Fuel bill gone through the roof

Exciting potato bugs.

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

'The recession is over, again.'

"Allow me to introduce Recession. Recession is here to stay."

Early Attempt at Quantitative Easing.

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

'I knew this was a bad place to work when I saw that they call the company handbook 'the Owner's Manual.''

Redhead

'The reason I have been able to keep my job through these turbulent times, is that I welcome change, especially if it's from a vending machine.'

The Euro - R.I.P.

"Try unplugging it and throwing it out the window."

Money god

'I had to stamp down on staff using nicknames at work. They even had one for me!'

'Okay, let the minutes show we're not absconding with the money until the economy improves...'

'Wait a minute....!

"We need a market icon that reflects the ridiculous market conditions..."

'...and the Nikkei closed down on the day.'

'I'd recommend against investing in hog futures - what sort of future could a hog have?'

'Yes, it's easy to make a mistake in a conduct dismissal, Bob. But as mistakes go this is a big one.'

Investments.

'My firm has scrutinised your budget and determined you could save a fortune by sacking us...that'll be £300,000 please!'

"The interest rate can't go any lower, so if necessary, we'll have to go back to pounds of flesh."

"It's this trend that leads us to believe we should supplement our oil commodities with investments in some of the Earth's rich vinegar and crouton reserves."

'Stocks plummeted today, on forecasts that tomorrow will be warm and muggy.'