Sarcastic Scientist Pillows

'To be honest, I'm having trouble keeping up with all this new technology.'

The First Fire Stick

The transparent safe box of Panama

Strainspotting

'Personally I can't see anything wrong with GM crops!'

'That was creepy. They ran short on cadavers, so we operated on the dean of students.'

'I had to stamp down on staff using nicknames at work. They even had one for me!'

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!

"White Collar Prison"

'Never roll your eyes while the boss is talking.'

"Professor Zlata! You're just in time to be the planet Neptune!"

People I've Met At Parties Whose Names I've Forgotten

'What's your favourite operating system?' - 'I don't have one.' - 'Well, you killed that conversation.' - 'It deserved to die.'

Hazardous substance - ignitable, corrosive, reactive, toxic, real smelly, yucchy.

"... and God bless my mom and her courage to call this food."

"Where the hell were you fourteen years ago?"

'If looks could sue, eh, Walt?'

"The end of my patience is near!"

'Oh he's sporty all right - he can be up and down on his stairlift in under ten minutes'

"You think you have the boss from hell?!"

'Hey, I know how to stop famine and poverty! Let's have lunch and after that, we go on making money!'

"Hey, if we're getting laid off, it's every man for himself!"

I think that computer might be giving out a little too much heat... Energy efficient IT systems.

"I've only had three pints and I'm totally wasted. . . I'll never drink vodka again!"

"Don't look at me. I'm just the gay friend."

'I'm always broke because I keep getting MUGGED!'

The End is Near...You Wish.

"OK, now here comes the lava."

"Oh, please, do tell me what Warren Buffett has to say about adding bleach to delicates."

"Boss, if you could be any superhero, which one would it be?" "Insurance-Adjuster-Man." "In a world where superheroes were real, there'd be an awful lot of collateral damage to buildings and infrastructure." "Insurance-Adjuster-Man would probably clear six figures by breakfast." "'Heroes' aren't in it for the money." "Of course they are. Take Lex Luthor, for instance..."

"Med school was a blast."

Big Brother.

STRIP Hambone: Wind up computer

"Of course our products are absolutely safe!