Santa's Snack Skeptic Pillows

Santa contemplates whether or not to leave presents.

Gracie goes to get cookies for Santa, but Papi has eaten them all.

Bad for you but to die for

We are shaped by what we love! Especially pizza and doughnuts!

Punk Reindeer

"You're really not too extreme, huh?"

"Why do parishioners only eat half their donuts???" "Partial indulgence."

'I would kill for a truffle.'

'Jim's blogging his thought for the day. He doesn't have any profound thoughts, he just has one thought per day.'

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

"It's creepy thinking that Santa can sneak into my house undetected. I must find out how he does it!"

Budget Munchies

'No, it doesn't have to snow for Santa to get here. He probably drives a big four-wheel-drive SUV ... '

'Gretel, she's lying. It's not gluten free!'

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

"Do you know donuts have fewer calories than you? I guess that would explain your muffin top."

A lot of attention gets paid to the Earl of Sandwich, and rightfully so, but let's not forget to show some respect for that neglected Lord of Lunch, the Viscount of Potato Salad.

Woman on diet being chased by temptation.

'With all those presents Santa carries, do you think he packs heat? . . . And maybe he's not really fat, but he's wearing a kevlar vest.'

An everything bagel? You call this an everything bagel?

Greedy child

"I like the Easter Bunny - I find him less judgmental than Santa Claus."

'Double cheeseburger, large drink, fries, apple pie, chocolate sundae and an antacid, please.'

'But who comforts the comfort food? I'll tell you who: NOBODY.'

'I don't really believe in Santa Claus anymore, but I don't want to disillusion my parents.'

'Boy! Did I get some bad news today! I found out french fries is a veg'table!'

"I don't understand why kids' pants have so many pockets."

"It's a game changer. . . carrots and hummous batons but we've managed to make them out of sugar."

"I just had a terrifying glimpse into our snack."

About Santa 2017.

'I don't like to complain, but I'm getting a little tired of crudités.'

'Hi, Mom. I volunteered you to bring cookies for snack time at school for every other day!'

'Drop the can opener!'

"Wow! My calculations show that on Christmas night, Santa Claus will visit 1 house every .83 seconds!"

'Jeff's Not Fast Enough' food stand.