Santa's Little Joker Pillows

'I've been really good this year, Santa. I only got two ASBOs.'

Gracie goes to get cookies for Santa, but Papi has eaten them all.

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

"No, you definitely wouldn't get Christmas Eve off."

Filming Christmas

Santa Dog

'Ok you two, where the hell is Dancer?!'

Meet Santa's entourage

Santa's Helpers

"Donner and Blitzen are just our stage names."

The other days of the year...

"So yes, I bit him! How was I supposed to know it was Master wearing a red fat-suit and a fake white beard?"

"I like it here but if Santa doesn't get better WiFi I'm getting a new job."

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

"We're history, Rudolph....I tell ya, we're history."

HM Prison chapel, "try to think of the lord as a 24 hour video surveillance system gathering pictures for the ultimate crimewatch"

'Golly, is it that time already?'

"Will you only promise the children toys that can be brought at this store?"

'First she called my mother, and then she called Santa.'

Santa Claus and the Snowman Cross Paths

Eucharist

And the Lord said: 'I created the universe. What on earth makes you think I'll be impressed by a dead goat?'

'I'm looking for something, like, 364 days a year.'

Notice! Due to COVID, all reindeer games are postponed indefinitely.

'Shall we dig him up, we haven't had an ice cream in over an hour?'

Shelf on an elf

'They think I can walk on water.'

"Of course I was speeding - how else am I going to visit billions of households in one night?!"

"All I want for Christmas is a previous little Kitty cat."

'Let us now turn to the Gospel According to St. Matthew for today's sob story.'

Child on Christmas Eve