Santa's Admirer Pillows

"How can you be out of wings?"

Santa Claus's Mail

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

High security Santa's grotto

"I'm sorry, but my costs were way out of control."

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

"I admire your enthusiasm, but you’re not really flying."

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

Santa Claus You Are Welcome.

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"There's gotta be a way to make money off this."

'Look man, no wings!'

"Pepperoni pizza is my favorite! Ah, Billy, you little suck up!"

'How do we know the NSA hasn't hacked your naughty list?'

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

You Will Have a Merry Christmas. . . Resistance is Futile.

Santa CGI Effect

'You still owe me the pony from last year!'

'How do you think he stays so merry through the holidays?!'

'How long has it been shaking like a bowl full of jelly when you laugh?'

"Naughty? Nice? It's a bit more nuanced than that..."

"I want a pony!"

'And that,and that,and that...'

'Well, I'll try, but cheese seems to be the 'must have gift' this year.'

'There really IS a Santa!' Santa busts pets eating his milk and cookies

"We're wasting our time. He gets them free at work."

"For the last time… do not feed bubble gum to the reindeer!"

The Reindeer Strike