Santa's Admirer Pillows

"Dashing through the snow in a one horse open sleigh, o'er the fields you went, laughing all the way. Have you been drinking?"

"How can you be out of wings?"

Santa Claus's Mail

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

High security Santa's grotto

"I'm sorry, but my costs were way out of control."

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

"Nice epic battle between good and evil!"

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

"I admire your enthusiasm, but you’re not really flying."

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

Santa Claus You Are Welcome.

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"There's gotta be a way to make money off this."

'Look man, no wings!'

'This year I'm deliverying everything FedEx!'

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

'How do we know the NSA hasn't hacked your naughty list?'

"Pepperoni pizza is my favorite! Ah, Billy, you little suck up!"

You Will Have a Merry Christmas. . . Resistance is Futile.

'You still owe me the pony from last year!'

Santa CGI Effect

'How do you think he stays so merry through the holidays?!'

'How long has it been shaking like a bowl full of jelly when you laugh?'

"Naughty? Nice? It's a bit more nuanced than that..."

"I want a pony!"

'There really IS a Santa!' Santa busts pets eating his milk and cookies

'Well, I'll try, but cheese seems to be the 'must have gift' this year.'

'And that,and that,and that...'

"For the last time… do not feed bubble gum to the reindeer!"

The Reindeer Strike