Santa Myth Admirer Pillows

Santa: 'Of course I'm a vampire! How else could I have lived for 300 years?'

Santa Claus's Mail

High security Santa's grotto

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

"I'm sorry, but my costs were way out of control."

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

"I admire your enthusiasm, but you’re not really flying."

Punk Reindeer

'Hello Colin, I'm Arthur, any idea what all the fuss is about?'

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"There's gotta be a way to make money off this."

"Pepperoni pizza is my favorite! Ah, Billy, you little suck up!"

'How do we know the NSA hasn't hacked your naughty list?'

"My God! There goes middle management."

You Will Have a Merry Christmas. . . Resistance is Futile.

'You still owe me the pony from last year!'

Santa CGI Effect

'How do you think he stays so merry through the holidays?!'

"I want a pony!"

"Naughty? Nice? It's a bit more nuanced than that..."

'There really IS a Santa!' Santa busts pets eating his milk and cookies

'And that,and that,and that...'

'Well, I'll try, but cheese seems to be the 'must have gift' this year.'

Naming that Impala

"I believe I you, Bigfoot."

The Reindeer Strike

"For the last time… do not feed bubble gum to the reindeer!"

"Do you have a shoe for roaming and prowling?"

"Redcoat is down! Repeat, redcoat is down!"

Why are you insisting on spending Christmas in hospital, Gran? I prefer the Santa here, darling.

"Well, what would YOU like for Christmas?"

Hot food cafe open every day except Christmas Day.

"We're wasting our time. He gets them free at work."