Santa Fe Enthusiast Pillows

"Great---their Santa Fe style has leaked into the hallway."

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

Santa Claus's Mail

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

High security Santa's grotto

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

Drink for me and my hot mamma. Now! We don't serve beer. Latte. Two, punk! Decaf. You don't want to see him angry. Also, low-foam and soy milk would be great. You don't want to see him gassy. Can I get one of those little Twizzler sticks to stir it with? Cube of brown sugar, please. And one nonfat blueberry scone! Two! I'd like to see how John Wayne would've ordered a fancy coffee drink.

Brian's canine Tread-o-Sod saved him the trouble of cleaning up after Mitzi.

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

"I admire your enthusiasm, but you’re not really flying."

Birthday Cakes: From Around the World

Santa Claus You Are Welcome.

"Anything but milk and cookies."

'Someone's been tampering with this chicken. It tastes like chicken.'

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

'This year I'm deliverying everything FedEx!'

'You still owe me the pony from last year!'

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

"Pepperoni pizza is my favorite! Ah, Billy, you little suck up!"

'How do we know the NSA hasn't hacked your naughty list?'

Santa 'Freezing' Claus.

Coffee

Santa CGI Effect

'How do you think he stays so merry through the holidays?!'

'How long has it been shaking like a bowl full of jelly when you laugh?'

Swallows returning to Cappuccino.

"I want a pony!"

"Naughty? Nice? It's a bit more nuanced than that..."

'There really IS a Santa!' Santa busts pets eating his milk and cookies

'And that,and that,and that...'

'Well, I'll try, but cheese seems to be the 'must have gift' this year.'

A few post-Christmas options for Santa.

The Reindeer Strike

"Amazon wants to open a facility here due to our friendly labor environment."