Santa Enthusiast Pillows

"I'm going to need to make multiple stops."

Santa Self Esteem.

'Cutting fourth-quarter operating costs by eating venison was brilliant. Of course, now we've got a bigger problem.'

Father Christmas under CCTV surveillance going down a chimney.

'It's not gifts I want, but someone who listens.'

How to believe in yourself.

Health and safety notice for Father Christmas.

"I can't tel you what an honor it is to be the keynote speaker at the Supply Chain management Seminar."

'Hear you're big in logistics.'

'I understand that you only use your vehicle once a year, Mr. Claus, but you drive over a million miles that night. That's why your premium is so high.'

"If he can visit 453,000 houses in one night just image how quickly he could deliver the vaccine."

'First, is there going to be any shipping and handling charges on this stuff?'

"It all started with the odd mince pie and glass of sherry."

'How do you think he stays so merry through the holidays?!'

'That's weird! Last year you signed your autograph left-handed.'

'It's me, Santa... I've had work done.'

'So I charged a few billion gifts last year. I was going to pay it later.'

"If this one guy had ordered online like everyone else in the world, we could have had the night off!"

"You must contact everyone who's ever been on your naughty/nice list."

Father Christmas stuck on plane wing

'Ok, enough of teh Ho, Ho, Ho just Blow, blow, blow!'

'Next year could I just have the perfume?'

'Don't try to kid me - that whole Rudolph thing is just a publicity stunt, isn't it?'

Santa Playing the Piano

Santa gets a ticket

"I'm detecting a slight twinkle."

"Thank you for coming in on Christmas eve Mr. Claus, I hope it wasn't inconvenient."

According to the complainant: 'He knows when youre sleeping, he knows when you're awake.' Care to explain?

"Good boy, and I should know."

"I'm available every day except one."

"What I really need, Santa, is a moral compass."

'Okay, the outfit COULD have shrunk since last year, but not the belt!'

"I want a pony!"

"Naughty? Nice? It's a bit more nuanced than that..."

"I think next year I'll go straight to my parents and cut out the middleman."