Santa Enthusiasts Pillows

"And remember, have your parents ask their doctor if Ambulex is right for them."

'Dear Santa, if you leave a new bike under the tree, I will give you the antidote to the poison I put in the milk. Timmy.'

'On Dasher, on Dancer, on Prancer, and Vixen; On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen...wait, this can't be right.'

"It's Lyme disease again."

Unemployment Office

"We don't build the toys anymore. We just order them from our factories overseas."

Santa running down the street after tow truck towing away sleigh and reindeer

'My fitness band is telling me I need to be active more than one day a year.'

Naughty Or Nice? Didn't You Read My Blog, 'Playing By The Rules Is For Dummies?'

Santa Security Check

'This business of entering people's houses through the chimney has got to stop!'

'It's beginning to look at lot like Christmas.'

"So, what's your secret?"

'How come I never see you in church?'

'I'm afraid I can't find anything that matches your current salary of sixty million cookies, and twenty thousand gallons of milk.'

"You've got a fairy light at the back."

"What do I want for Christmas? Hell's bells! Didn't you get my letter?"

'Honey, have you seen my suit?'

Good Dog!...Bad dog!...Good dog!....Nice dog!...Very bad dog!....Good dog!....Good dog!...Naughty dog!..."

'I know this sounds crazy, but sometimes it feels as if I don't even exist.'

Santa Loo

'What do you mean, Santa. . . you're not going because it's too cold?'

"I've only got a few who can get around the world overnight. . . their names are - corona, delta and omicron."

'My list is pretty long this year, so I brought it on a flash drive.'

I may have a belly full of jelly, but trust me, no one is faster at going through duct work.

'You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen...'

Santa at The Eye Doctor.

"...that lump in your sack is just a soccer ball."

'After you ask him for the pony, ask him to pay for your college education.'

'The sun'll be up soon. Can I go downstairs now?'

Visit Santa

"Every year it gets harder to maintain the jolly fat man persona."

"Better keep the reindeer on the lawn. The roof's been covered with solar panels."

"I hear you're very judgemental."

"Got anything seasonal?"