Santa Enthusiasts Gifts

"And remember, have your parents ask their doctor if Ambulex is right for them."

"It's Lyme disease again."

Unemployment Office

"We don't build the toys anymore. We just order them from our factories overseas."

Santa running down the street after tow truck towing away sleigh and reindeer

Santa Security Check

Naughty Or Nice? Didn't You Read My Blog, 'Playing By The Rules Is For Dummies?'

'My fitness band is telling me I need to be active more than one day a year.'

'This business of entering people's houses through the chimney has got to stop!'

'It's beginning to look at lot like Christmas.'

"What do I want for Christmas? Hell's bells! Didn't you get my letter?"

'Honey, have you seen my suit?'

'I know this sounds crazy, but sometimes it feels as if I don't even exist.'

Good Dog!...Bad dog!...Good dog!....Nice dog!...Very bad dog!....Good dog!....Good dog!...Naughty dog!..."

"You've got a fairy light at the back."

"So, what's your secret?"

'I'm afraid I can't find anything that matches your current salary of sixty million cookies, and twenty thousand gallons of milk.'

'How come I never see you in church?'

'After you ask him for the pony, ask him to pay for your college education.'

Santa Loo

'My list is pretty long this year, so I brought it on a flash drive.'

Santa at The Eye Doctor.

'What do you mean, Santa. . . you're not going because it's too cold?'

"...that lump in your sack is just a soccer ball."

I may have a belly full of jelly, but trust me, no one is faster at going through duct work.

'You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen...'

"I've only got a few who can get around the world overnight. . . their names are - corona, delta and omicron."

"Well, of course my DNA was found at the scene, it's Christmas Eve!"

"Another great thing about believing in Santa - no thank-you notes!"

"Soon, felllas, soon."

"Got anything seasonal?"

"I can't see them when they're sleeping. I can't see them when they're awake."

Police sketch Santa

"Nope--I'm old, fat, and male--I wouldn't stand a chance out there."

"Better keep the reindeer on the lawn. The roof's been covered with solar panels."