Santa Fans Pillows

'On the outside I'm all ho-ho-ho. But inside I feel weak and shaky, like a bowl full of jelly.'

Hot Tub Frosty

Santa and reindeer in line with shadows

'I'm prepared to do something different as long as it offers me the same 364 days off a year.'

'Whoa! I guess we shouldn't have eaten those bean burritos before leaving the workshop!'

'I have a pony. I want a car.'

Ever vigilant, the restive Claus uses it to get an early start on the naughty and nice list.

Kiwi Christmas

Santa Puking In An Airplane

364 days a year jobless. Please help!

"My toy factory...it's completely imaginary."

Reindeer's Jacket Reads: IF YOU CAN READ THIS, THE JOLLY OL' FAT MAN FELL OFF!

Gluten-free Santa

"Aha. . . that explains the eggnog level. . ."

"You've been at the North Pole for a long time. How come you haven't moved to Florida?"

"Your behavior was kind of shady so don't be surprised if you only receive clothes for Christmas."

"Oh now you decide to show up?"

Robin's Christmas stocking

'Why don't we make it simple this year, and you just extend me a line of credit?'

'Santa has been and he's taken our telly...'

Reindeer Farts: 'Shouldn't have stopped for those chilli dogs.'

Santa's auger

'I'm in for breaking and entering.'

Santa Claus finds a toilet instead of a chimney.

"Sure I can fix the holes...but I didn't think you'd be going near Iraq."

"We're under stage four water restrictions!"

Santa Therapist

Santa slipping on the ice.

"I've been a good boy this year Santa. With this in mind, I want your wallet, watch, mobile phone..."

"Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas!"

Funky Facts: Christmas

"Christmas day or nor, it was under the tree! How could you expect me not to peek?"

Santa: 8 Items or less

"And did you pack the sacks yourself, Mr. Claus?"

"Yes, Santa is smoking a pipe, but I'm sure he's just vaping."