Sanity Sleuth Gifts

"You are completely sane, but I think I can cure you."

Squeezing the Free Press.

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

$1: Family Secrets

"Look, Professor - a stegosaurus!"

'Have you no common scents?!'

"Excuse me, Professor. I think I might have spotted a flaw in your theory!"

'There's too much corruption in the third world.'

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

Roentgen tries to figure out what he's discovered.

"I need to self isolate. . . but I thought I'd better come in and see you first!"

'The dog ate my homework -- I thought maybe you could X-ray him.'

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

"Do you smell something?"

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

"Perkins! What have you gone and done now...??"

"So finally, the liarbird flew off to the lucrative world of tell-all books, management consultancy and after-dinner speaking..."

JET (Part I)

"Essentially Wilkins proves things and Brenner disproves them."

Medical Library - Large books with really revolting photographs

GM Crops Genie.

The Robert Mueller Rosetta Stone

Undercover Biophysicists

Newton's Law and Order.

'Hey, it's that peeping Tom again, the one who has no respect for privacy.'

'It's for the girl who's in a hurry.'

"According to stomach content analysis he'll be dead in half an hour."

Galileo describes his discoveries to the church (and gets hit over the head by the bishop/pope with the telescope that he made the discoveries with).

The Animal Researcher Reports...'I've been watching this herd of cattle for seven years, and to be frank, I haven't seen them do anything yet!'

'Okay - Let's crash that bad boy.'

Schrodingers cat at the vets

'She didn't notice it was a wolf and not her grandma?? Had grandma never heard of electrolysis??'