Sandwich Analysts Gifts

Deconstructing Lunch

'Been Away?' A piece of bread looks at a piece of brown toast as if it's got a suntan.

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

"But if you leave New Orleans, you'll be just another sandwich."

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

"Wow-free sky hoagies!"

"Aww geez... peanut butter and jellyfish again."

Ernie likes to fix things around the house. Just today he's fixed two sandwiches, three sundaes, and some microwave brownies.

'Hard to follow...'

Stratigraphy

"I think my mom made me a tofu sandwich."

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

'Can I have some of your peanut butter and jelly sandwich? All my mom ever gives me is cake.'

'Bacon-butties are my favourite!'

"Why did God make fruit if he also made candy?"

The BLTR (the bacon, lettuce, tomato, revolution)

The Deli Llama

'How's getting you a sandwich going to help me get a job?'

'Dad, try to catch some jellyfish to go with my peanut butter.'

"This means that dad is climbing Everest with my cheese and pickle sandwich."

Man takes sandwiches left beneath a 'please take one' sign

"I just knew there had to be a better use for tomatoes than making boring old sandwiches."

"I'm a retired doctor."

Armstrong, an unmarked truck just delivered a pallet of mystery meat. Turkey. It doesn't look like turkey. It looks more like some sort of dehydrated pigeon. What's it matter? If we slap it in a sandwich, smother it in "gravy," and label it "turkey," customers won't know the difference. Wait, did you just think quotes around the word gravy? "no."

"No, you didn't hear the soft rustle of a sandwich wrapper!"

'Do you have any denture friendly sandwiches?'

'A sandwich?'

'Only peanut butter and jelly fingers, Sir.'

One Hour Sandwich shop

Sandwich filing.

"Liverwurst is down an eighth, egg-salad is up two and a half, and peanut-butter-and-jelly remains unchanged."

"Throw the rope!! It's a quicksandwich!!"

For the Love of Peanut Butter