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"The usual"

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

Camel rider sees sign stating: The Next Mirage 16 miles.

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

"The bagels are better in New York."

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

"One spaghetti, and two straws please."

Heimlich maneuver, Gastric bypass surgery, Liver transplant.

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

'The landscape is continually shifting Son, so you have to learn to navigate by the Sun and the stars...'

'The customer is always right...'

Maitre d' to astronaut couple entering restaurant: 'Gravity or no-gravity?'

Dave's Hamburger Shop

"I read that meat can remain undigested in one's intestines for five years...."

"I'm a real estate developer and I'm just looking over this area."

'Excellent cork, go ahead and pour.'

'I'll have the steak.' (Fish in tank start jumping for joy).

"Why don't I start you off with the contact information of everyone who's read those menus over the last 14 days?"

'Oh boy, my favourite: Cheese Fondue...'

"When it's extremely cold out, I prefer flambés to winter stews."

"My apologies, but that's not a meatball. That's my computer mouse. I've been looking for it."

'And for the Queen of Whiny Eaters, two pieces of bologna, cut into quarter-inch squares, coated with Abe's Barbecue Sauce...'

"Got anything not so close to the kitchen?"

'Waiter...!' (there is a human in my soup)

'I'm afraid things are rather confused around here today, sir- the Soup of the Day is a grilled-cheese sandwich'

'If that is a toenail, it is a French toenail.'

Traditional Family Meals

"The flounder's not bad, but it's you I'm nuts about."

'I dreamed I was flying and I had airline food.'

Road Kill Cafe.

"I'm a vegan. I don't know what made me order a cheeseburger. Maybe I've got the flesh eating disease."

"Dinner looks delicious."