Sampling Sage Pillows

"You know how I feel about sampling!"

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

"You said mindfulness could help us do well on the test, so I filled it up with as much as I could last night."

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

'Bad news on Wall Street. The entire stock market has been downgraded to a 'junk' classification.'

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

Melissa's Mark Prediction Service

"Looks like the high tech shares have taken another fall."

'What did the fund manager say to the investment advisor?'

"Sure your portfolio has taken a hit, but if you stay in the market for the long haul you'll be fine."

"You know what burns me up? I deliberately kept my life uneventful, and I got old anyway."

Outline; Introduction, Body, Conclusion.

"This internet survey is asking me to take another survey rating the survey I'm taking."

'Of course, for me, Christmas has a deeply felt religious significance! The stock exchange is my church...!

'It was pretty crazy around here that day.'

"I like the metric system. My weight in kilograms is less than my weight in pounds."

"We found a new virus. . . which affects stock portfolios."

The Return of Guarded Optimism

"Why can't they call it a 'Deer' or a 'Squirrel' market?"

A fortune cookie for investors.

The Stock Market and Personal Income.

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

'Maybe I'm not a failure — maybe I'm just a late bloomer!'

'At last a sign the bear market may be over.'

'The market's been all over the place, today.'

China gets capitalistic in its own way...: 'The Tao is up!'

"Well, for starters, you’re holding the shovel all wrong."

'This $10,000 bottle of Bordeaux is also a powerful solvent. It entirely dissolved my savings account.'

Long and Short Term Investments.

'This equation of economic theory attempts to predict the results of a speculative trade, a day after it is placed.'

Stockbrokers - The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away."