Salsa Gifts

"I think I know where we went wrong with this salsa routine...bad news, my back's locked up!"

Salsa Queen.

'There are only two things stopping you from being a good dancer, Mr. Jones. Your feet!'

'We are so in sync!'

'And don't tread on my toes.'

"I tell you, it's not right! How can a man be arrested for entering his own home?! It's outrageous! It's unacceptable! Something must be done!!"

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'Like death by salad.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

"Tell them we only have romaine!"

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

"I had a Caesar salad for lunch, but that was two days ago."

"I don't bake, I don't cook, but I make one kick-ass vinaigrette."

"What!?! I like a nice salad every now and then, too. What of it?"

'Diet considerations.'

"I feel like I'm cosplaying as a salad bar."

"It's been 10 years Martha, why are we still eating quinoa?"

"You're really not too extreme, huh?"

Chef picking salad leaves from a hanging basket outside his restaurant.

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

"I told you to order the mild salsa!"

Cinema with a salad bar in its lobby.

"More croutons, sir?"