Salon Work Gifts

"Okay, who left the drier on suck instead of blow?"

'More PRODUCT please Marvin'. Marvin the hairdressers assistant tops up the product.

The adoration of the gels.

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Pampered and poodled.

The Coiffing - to Illustrate poem 'The Ballad of a Barber'

Hair Traffic control.

"Wow, your mane looks fantastic! New conditioner?"

"Every Thursday I do her nails."

"That conditioner you recommended didn't do a damn bit of good."

'Well you tried, but be sure to keep Proof of Purchase.'

'-and we offer trauma counselling at no extra cost!'

'Here you are Dear, here's a fiver. Go in there and have them make you look like a million dollars.'

Judge getting hair done.

"Couldn't you have waited till she was smiling before you injected the botox?"

GURLERS

I just want to look natural. You know, like a movie star.

Beauty Bee

'You don't have to worry about me, I just want to know who does your nails.'

"Ed can't figure out if we're having our nails waxed and our faces painted, or our nails painted and faces waxed."

The Garra Rufa's idea of a Grand Day Out.

"Rare, medium or well done?"

'I love your new flat screen saloon.'

"So what's your success rate?"

'My best client? You must be kidding. When she comes I work like for four people but I only receive one person's tips.'

A robber halds up a hair salon with a hairdryer pointed at the customers - 'Hand over all your hair restorer or I'll blow you away!'

"He spoils them."

'I like doing shampoos, it gets your hands clean.'

Where Mom used to take you.

"This time lick my entire body."

"You've been ages,dear-but never mind I've been patiently waiting in the pub accross the road!"

"The cost of a haircut? It depends on what's in your underpants."

'Ethel? It's Kay! A couple of those cheap lights in the tanning bed burned out again.'

"Can you loosen it a bit Andre, I can't close my eyes"

'I don't think much of your work experience scheme Eric!'