Salon Savvy Pillows

"He was in here yesterday. Halfway through he ran out without paying."

'Just a trim or the usual three bags full?'

Airdressers.

'Can you tell I'm nervous?'

Fluff It Up. A hairdresser creates an amazing Afro.

The adoration of the gels.

The Stat-shoe of Liberty.

"And now. . . which shoes?"

Pampered and poodled.

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

The Coiffing - to Illustrate poem 'The Ballad of a Barber'

Remember . . . If at first you do succeed, make sequels!'

"Wow, your mane looks fantastic! New conditioner?"

"Every Thursday I do her nails."

'The difference between the sexes...First Contact...'

"That conditioner you recommended didn't do a damn bit of good."

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

'-and we offer trauma counselling at no extra cost!'

'Here you are Dear, here's a fiver. Go in there and have them make you look like a million dollars.'

Updated Opera: The Hairstylist of Seville.

Judge getting hair done.

GURLERS

'You don't have to worry about me, I just want to know who does your nails.'

Hair Style Menu

'We want to adopt a kid. Do you have a choice our feng shui consultant can look at?'

'I love your new flat screen saloon.'

"Ed can't figure out if we're having our nails waxed and our faces painted, or our nails painted and faces waxed."

'My best client? You must be kidding. When she comes I work like for four people but I only receive one person's tips.'

A robber halds up a hair salon with a hairdryer pointed at the customers - 'Hand over all your hair restorer or I'll blow you away!'

'Take ten years off the top.'

"This time lick my entire body."

"The cost of a haircut? It depends on what's in your underpants."

"This is our new one-piece for the more mature ladies."

"You've been ages,dear-but never mind I've been patiently waiting in the pub accross the road!"