Salon Savvy T-Shirts

"He was in here yesterday. Halfway through he ran out without paying."

'Just a trim or the usual three bags full?'

The usual? My daughter's all over me about dyeing my hair. I want to go totally natural! Fine. Which would you like? Natural ash, honest honey or real platinum blonde? Which does Mother Nature use?

Airdressers.

'Can you tell I'm nervous?'

Fluff It Up. A hairdresser creates an amazing Afro.

Nelly's Nail Solon

The adoration of the gels.

The Stat-shoe of Liberty.

Pampered and poodled.

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

"And now. . . which shoes?"

The Coiffing - to Illustrate poem 'The Ballad of a Barber'

Remember . . . If at first you do succeed, make sequels!'

"Wow, your mane looks fantastic! New conditioner?"

'The difference between the sexes...First Contact...'

"Every Thursday I do her nails."

Ladies Fashions - "Money isn't tight - you are!"

"That conditioner you recommended didn't do a damn bit of good."

Great job on the color! Thanks. It looks totally natural. Hi, Twig! Hey. Success! She didn't notice. "Mom dyed her hair with Gatorade."

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

"I'm thinking of changing my parting."

'-and we offer trauma counselling at no extra cost!'

'Here you are Dear, here's a fiver. Go in there and have them make you look like a million dollars.'

Judge getting hair done.

GURLERS

Updated Opera: The Hairstylist of Seville.

'You don't have to worry about me, I just want to know who does your nails.'

'I love your new flat screen saloon.'

"Ed can't figure out if we're having our nails waxed and our faces painted, or our nails painted and faces waxed."

Hair Style Menu

'We want to adopt a kid. Do you have a choice our feng shui consultant can look at?'

'My best client? You must be kidding. When she comes I work like for four people but I only receive one person's tips.'

A robber halds up a hair salon with a hairdryer pointed at the customers - 'Hand over all your hair restorer or I'll blow you away!'