Sales Tactics Analyst T-Shirts

'I appeared to start selling more when I stopped appearing to sell.'

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

"Jill Hamster's entrepreneurial disaster"

Sales.

'We have to go global since nobody around here will buy our product.'

'I understand this was the day you seized, Ferguson?'

Gerald Ratner's return

Sales Chart: Boomerangs LTD

"These are magic beans, my boy. Their value comes from growth and scale, not revenue."

'Alternatively you can just focus on the CUSTOMER!'

Competitior Sales - "Now I come to the feel good factor"

'One thing is certain. It's not just a seasonal slump.'

"Today we welcome back an old friend."

What if retail stores behaved like websites?

'Hank here brings 10 years of top sales experience to our company so let's all try to make him feel welcome while he makes you all look bad...'

'If you don't pay us, I'll tell all your creditors you have.'

Entertainment systems

"At bonus time, just don't forget where you get your intellectual property."

'Rabner is tops in customer retention.'

"Okay, let me come at this question a different way: Does anybody here actually know how to sell anything?"

Sinking sales

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

"I suppose that's what happens when 'putting customers first' comes second!"

'I think I know what the problem is!'

'Our sales have been uneven but our company has heart.'

The company's marketing strategy became increasingly sophisticated.

Sales - We could try a 'free offer' but it would cost us.

"Give a man a fish, you cut your throat. Teach a man to fish, you're a damn fool."

I was hoping you might convince him by demonstrating the quality of the product.

'I know it's the truth, but on this promo for our site, do you think we should use the promo code 'desperation?''

Sales Research shows it's too big for them to carry home, sir.