Sales Tactic Tactician T-Shirts

"What 'Do-not-knock' list?"

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

Takeovers.

"That's Hicks from the corporate office. He's adorable, but trust me—when it comes to acquisitions, he's an animal!"

'Competition is good...unless it's too good.'

'What's the concept? I'm not sure what you're trying to say, Ms. Harris.'

"These are magic beans, my boy. Their value comes from growth and scale, not revenue."

'Jones, somewhere out there, we've lost our common sense. I want you to go and bring it back.'

"I was able to negotiate it from a hostile takeover to an uneasy alliance."

Football.

'Hank here brings 10 years of top sales experience to our company so let's all try to make him feel welcome while he makes you all look bad...'

'Larry, you have everything it takes to go far in this company, but a word of advice: lose the laugh.'

"That was a rumor day."

'This is Osgood, our most essential man -- he thinks up new ways to limit warranties!'

The company's marketing strategy became increasingly sophisticated.

"Hi, I'm Cindy, the company's most toxic employee!"

I was hoping you might convince him by demonstrating the quality of the product.

'Remember, Henderson - Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish and you've sacrificed your leverage.'

'Thanks to his brilliant conversation techniques, Bob had the shortest calls.'

"It's a dog-eat-dog economy. And I'm the Doberman."

"You can't expect to get anywhere in business without making an enemy or two, Filmeyer."

'I appeared to start selling more when I stopped appearing to sell.'

ISIS needle in a haystack.

'I lost my shoe, but I got my foot in the door.'

"Remember, negotiating is like buying fruit. You don't know what you'll get until you squeeze 'em a bit."

'No, I don't want to change my long distance phone company, and,,, Yes, I should have known it was you calling'

"Clearly, this pair were up to something. . ."

'Remember, shares can also go down...'

So what happens when you told Armstrong you wouldn't recite that Sinclair Broadcasting script? Oh, nothing. Sinclair sued me for everything I own, that's all. But the joke's on them: I've set up different LLC's for every aspect of my life. So all they could get were the assets of the LLC that they paid. This opens up a whole world of possibilities. I knew forming Rudy-has-next-to-nada LLC was a good idea. I am going to miss my ten cents and my broken wiffle ball, though.

"It has come to my attention that there's a traitor in our midst."

"Come climate change, you could find yourself sitting beach-front on the French riviera."

Thanks to compromise they were moving closer.

'Why don't we do what we always do when sales lag, write 'New and improved' on the box...'

'A telemarketing call for you, Sir.'