Sales Pitch Artisan Gifts

'I don't care if you were in the wine auction business, before coming here - they're coffins, not original wooden cases.'

Shoe Shine/Lace Tie

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

'Ho,ho,ho, but can you be more specific?'

"As you can hear, it has an engine that purrs ... '

Artisan hot dog stand has pigs tethered to it.

"Take the off this minute, young lady."

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

"In layman's terms, it's £12,750."

Change Management: Change can be ruf.

"The margin of error is plus or minus one hundred percent."

About the potter.

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

A potter paints a barcode on a pot.

Luthier

'Our expenses have decreased 20 per cent since we started refilling our own ink jet cartridges.'

"It's all locally-sourced, made from scratch."

"Any beaver can cut down trees, but marquetry, now that's art."

"I propose we go with the second option."

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

Your performance since you came here suggests you may have lied on your resume.

Pottery Slam

"Just so you understand in advance - we're not old-time craftsmen, and we don't take pride in our work."

I'm more than just a sauce, I'm a re-sauce.

"Larry made that chair from a pile of sticks."

"Your body language says you've lost interest."

"Are we afraid of a little competition? Based on the figures, absolutely."

Craft Show: Earth & Martianware.

Members of the Luddite community carving computers from solid blocks of oak and maple

"It's as though everything nice about you had been just some kind of introductory offer."

"We've gleaned all we need to know about you from the internet, but we'll keep your resume as a great example of creative writing."

'I ran into a whittler.'

Bootmaker upset over the death of a long term customer

Artisanal Pottery

'You want to run that by me again?'