Sales Pitch Artisan Mugs

'I don't care if you were in the wine auction business, before coming here - they're coffins, not original wooden cases.'

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

'Ho,ho,ho, but can you be more specific?'

"As you can hear, it has an engine that purrs ... '

"Take the off this minute, young lady."

Artisan hot dog stand has pigs tethered to it.

"In layman's terms, it's £12,750."

Change Management: Change can be ruf.

"The margin of error is plus or minus one hundred percent."

A potter paints a barcode on a pot.

About the potter.

Luthier

'Our expenses have decreased 20 per cent since we started refilling our own ink jet cartridges.'

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

"Any beaver can cut down trees, but marquetry, now that's art."

Pottery Slam

"It's all locally-sourced, made from scratch."

"Just so you understand in advance - we're not old-time craftsmen, and we don't take pride in our work."

Your performance since you came here suggests you may have lied on your resume.

"I propose we go with the second option."

I'm more than just a sauce, I'm a re-sauce.

"Larry made that chair from a pile of sticks."

"Your body language says you've lost interest."

"Are we afraid of a little competition? Based on the figures, absolutely."

Craft Show: Earth & Martianware.

Bootmaker upset over the death of a long term customer

'I ran into a whittler.'

"We've gleaned all we need to know about you from the internet, but we'll keep your resume as a great example of creative writing."

'You want to run that by me again?'

Artisanal Pottery

"It's as though everything nice about you had been just some kind of introductory offer."

Members of the Luddite community carving computers from solid blocks of oak and maple

"Standard equipment includes the Manual Anti-Collision Sonic Warning System...otherwise known as the horn."