Sales Executive Gifts

'The sales team did all they could, so I'd have to say the blame for that must fall on the consumer.'

"How are my sales doing?"

"So if you don't mind, I'll just go ahead and read out each slide word for word in a droning monotone until you all yearn for the sweet release of death."

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

'In an effort to make this sales meeting more pleasant, I have taken the liberty of rotating our sales graph counter clockwise a full ninety degrees,'

'What's this, Dawkins?another of you 'visual metaphors'?'

'We're looking for a sales manager that can take our sales momentum, during December and January, and carry it over for the year.'

'Gentlemen, If I may say so - we have arrived.'

Board Meeting

'Does it bother anyone else that our entire business is based on one questionable product?'

'And this is the exact point we put Scruffy in charge of marketing and sales.'

'You certainly have a way with no words.'

"Broadband...yeah, it's great, now our totally useless website loads even faster."

"Okay, let me come at this question a different way: Does anybody here actually know how to sell anything?"

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

You are here.

'Are you the client, or am I?'

"Our social media statistics show us that people don't want our product. The want videos of cats."

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'

Maybe it's now time to review our customer care strategy!"

'I'm worried that unless we implement rigid protocols to maximise client gratification within acceptable cost/benefit parameters to ensure enhanced margins then we're in danger of missing the point of what christmas is all about.'

'We have this piece of the Web 2.0 puzzle but we need the rest.'

"We have to develop a new way to build our customer base. Antispam software has put a dent in our marketing strategy."

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"We got the cactus account!"

'Clients can get a little tricky at these product analysis sessions.'

'The hardest part of making the sale was getting past all the gatekeepers.'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"Remember that crazy optimistic forecast we had?!?"

Prehistoric salesman in used tire lot.

"I suppose that's what happens when 'putting customers first' comes second!"

"Not bad, considering no one knows exactly what we produce or sell here."

'Last quarter sales are up 100 percent. We went from one sale to two sales.'

Salesman given 10 minutes under extreme pressure to sell to buyer

'Maybe the stuff stinks.'