Sales Consultant Gifts

"... With a slightly above average mileage..."

"How about we forget 'new and improved' and settle for 'new'?"

"Now, if you all could make your way downstairs, we'll continue to look at these sales figures."

"Well, he loves people, the birds that fly, the fish that swim, and all the creatures of the forest."

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

'I appeared to start selling more when I stopped appearing to sell.'

"I increase my small pension by working as an expert on selling anti-incontinence products!"

It's in the baby class.

'We're looking for an award-winning sales professional. Those are trophies. You're overqualified.'

"Baldo, the summer is almost gone and you still haven't found a job!"

Santa opens Summer Sale.

Sale! Best Prices. Marked Down!

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

'Now that I have your attention...'

Businesswoman Empowerment

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

British savings accounts

"Stock options for your thoughts."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"My email is down... talk to me."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."