Sales Coach T-Shirts

Juergen K., Sales coach and Football Aficionado.

'Wow...This could be the beginning of a fantastic career...A sales coach is waiting for you. He wants to hire you as a bad example.'

"You all know today's speaker. He's the 'King of Big Sales'."

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

"Jill Hamster's entrepreneurial disaster"

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

Sales.

'We have to go global since nobody around here will buy our product.'

'I understand this was the day you seized, Ferguson?'

Good morning, Boss. What're you going to do about it, Park? Are you just going to complain, or are you going to come up with an actionable plan. Complainers never do, Park, and doers never complain. I wasn't actually complaining. Our patrons buy 65% less cocoa on sunny days.

Sales Chart: Boomerangs LTD

Gerald Ratner's return

'Alternatively you can just focus on the CUSTOMER!'

'One thing is certain. It's not just a seasonal slump.'

Competitior Sales - "Now I come to the feel good factor"

'Take five Harry, I'm going on ahead to scout for sales'

"Today we welcome back an old friend."

What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.

Entertainment systems

"Now the first thing you have to do is to get a client's attention."

'If you don't pay us, I'll tell all your creditors you have.'

'We're looking for an award-winning sales professional. Those are trophies. You're overqualified.'

"At bonus time, just don't forget where you get your intellectual property."

Sinking sales

"Okay, let me come at this question a different way: Does anybody here actually know how to sell anything?"

'I think I know what the problem is!'

'Our sales have been uneven but our company has heart.'

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

"I suppose that's what happens when 'putting customers first' comes second!"

Yo-Yo Sales

Sales - We could try a 'free offer' but it would cost us.

"We could hire some sign-wavers to stand by the side of the road and advertise our product."