Safety Warning Collector Pillows

'The law requires me to inform you that everything you've ordered may be hazardous to your health.'

"Careful with that window. The safety sticker says 'open windows can be hazardous.'"

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

Beware of Falling Notice.

"Tom, I’d like you to meet Chris. Chris is better than you."

'I do good work... unfortunately, I don't do it here.'

'I'm fired, am I -- What's that supposed to mean?'

"We're a family here and you'll be like a son to me - illegitimate, of course."

A polar bear has slipped and is sprawled out on the ice next to a yellow caution sign that features a slipping figure.

Man walks into 'Watch your step' sign.

'Now I'm going to lump all your nagging little worries into one big complex.'

Warning: Not giving milk is hazardous to your health.

Geekasaurus.

Caution wet floors. . . Caution DRY ceilings.

"There - now we're environmentally responsible."

"I've had my eye on you for some time, Parker....just what is it you're supposed to do around here?"

Warning! Contains Salt...

"Have a nice day"

Warning: If you are reading this sign, you are about to be brutally attacked by a knife-wielding, psychotic, maniacal, dangerous serial killer who is standing directly behind you.

'Where are you going, I already locked out that pump.' - 'CARL'S on shift!'

'The packet says 'do not climb without safety harness'.'

"Oh really, Gerald! You're removing honey from the hives, not plutonium!"

Anthrax scare.

'You can't say the government isn't trying.'

Malcolm realised too late that he didn't have opposable thumbs.

"Miss, I'm familiar with the 'Fasten Seatbelt' sign, but what's with the 'Check Engine' light?"

"Where did you get that?"

Quick Sand and Slow Sand

'It's to protect me from the splattering. Now open wide.'

"Yes, our cautiousness may be a bit excessive but we do have the lowest litigation rates in the industry."

Beware of dog (bomb vest)

"Things must be worse than we thought - he's rationing the water and the biscuits."

"The latest car safety data is in, and it's still really really bad to crash into things."

'I lead by example as long as I'm not held legally liable.'