Safety Report Collector Pillows

"The latest car safety data is in, and it's still really really bad to crash into things."

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

Beware of Falling Notice.

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

"How would I explain the 'D' in debate class? Probably not very well."

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

'Well, so my grades are A,B,C,D... at least I'm learning my alphabet.'

"Getting good grades isn't enough, son. You also need to bring in new clients."

'Just tell him you mind your teacher and do your lessons. You don't have to prove it.'

Geekasaurus.

Man walks into 'Watch your step' sign.

A polar bear has slipped and is sprawled out on the ice next to a yellow caution sign that features a slipping figure.

Caution wet floors. . . Caution DRY ceilings.

"There - now we're environmentally responsible."

'I didn't do well in geography. I guess you had to be there.'

Warning! Contains Salt...

"Have a nice day"

'The packet says 'do not climb without safety harness'.'

"Oh really, Gerald! You're removing honey from the hives, not plutonium!"

'Where are you going, I already locked out that pump.' - 'CARL'S on shift!'

"Miss, I'm familiar with the 'Fasten Seatbelt' sign, but what's with the 'Check Engine' light?"

'You can't say the government isn't trying.'

Anthrax scare.

Malcolm realised too late that he didn't have opposable thumbs.

Man reading report with safety belt on.

"Yes, our cautiousness may be a bit excessive but we do have the lowest litigation rates in the industry."

'It's to protect me from the splattering. Now open wide.'

Car crashed into warning sign

Quick Sand and Slow Sand

Beware of dog (bomb vest)

"Where did you get that?"

'This wouldn't have happened if you'd saved to send me to a private school.'

'Your conservation area now meets health & safety standards'

Warning! May Contain Splinters!