Safety Seekers T-Shirts

"I remodelled, but I left it so that when danger threatens I can still take refuge in the redoubt."

"I'd feel safer if you were an ex-marine with a gun collection."

Mask Effectiveness

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

'And do we really need scarves for warmth? And what's with the stove top hats?!'

Safe harbour

Stun-gun target practice

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

Kangaroo mom to child, 'We're not going anywhere until you buckle-up, young man.'

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Sitting Up'

'Halloween is just around the corner, kids. Have you decided what are you going to wear?'

Do it! Go into the woods alone!...

"The crash-test rating on this puppy is off the charts!"

A Crash-test Dummy child about to have a ride on a car crash test ride in a shopping centre mall.

'Mind how you cross the ocean.'

'You don't think you're just a tad overprotective?'

The Dangers of National Safety Week.

'They're showing 'Jaws' on TV tonight: The beaches should be quiet for a few days after that!'

'I don't give advice. I'm only up here because it's safer.'

The Birth of a Lawsuit

'He refused to climb the ladder without a safety net.'

"Not enough money is being spent on safety, so be careful."

Horror Theater. Now Playing. Return of the Deficit.

"Are there any extra crew on board? He still looks hungry."

Stephen King

Rusk Assessment Form

The Great Maldini and his Venomous Snakes

'Do you ever get this weird, primitive yearning to sit behind a large block of wood?'

Human Flesh Eaters: A Romance Comedy.

"And, of course, if I were to get the job and start feeling comfortable here I'd no longer need the security blanket."

A safe is about to fall on an unsuspecting man interested in risk-free investments.

"Okay, what's your next, more expensive security system?"

'Just putt the dang ball, already!'

"Safe FDIC insured, guaranteed 2.65% APY...check out our new Emotional Support CDs."

Maybe next tiime you'll hand in the risk assessment on time