Safety Officer Pillows

Health and safety nightmare.

'It's not that Ted was a bad guy, he was just all out of 5's.'

'As a part of a cost-cutting experiment all of our safety measures will be replaced with these good luck charms.'

"Some bloke wants to know if we've carried out a thorough risk assessment?"

Accident Free Days 14?3.

'I think we need to take another look at your risk-management strategy.'

'To be honest, I'm not sure if a HAZARD ASSESSMENT would have seen this one coming!'

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

'Just put those safety awards on the table.'

Oil Industry Safety.

'I knew it!! I just KNEW IT!!! - I KNEW we should have filled out a confined space entry permit!!'

'Sure, it's a great invention, but does it comply with all government guidelines?'

Safety First.

Rule one: Never work without a net. Rule two: Specify the type of net.

Man putting up accident prevention sign falls off ladder.

'Anyone that needs further proof can see Carl after the meeting.'

"Maybe it would be easier if I just put a stake where it IS safe to dig!"

Job Safety - Valves.

In case of emergency...break glass: Crisis Manual.

Health and Safety

'It's okay, I'm wearing safety contact lenses.'

'There's been an accident down at the plant.'

European Union Health and Safety Direcorate rules

A man is balancing on two chairs to hang a 'safety first' sign.

'OK, what's the first thing we need to capture in our Job Safety Analysis?' 'Don't tick off TINY!'

'Uh,uh,uh, you weren't lifting with your legs were you?!'

An Accident Waiting To Happen.

'Will you stop placing these obstacles everywhere?...'

"I did a risk assessment of the dangers of not doing a risk assessment, and decided it wasn't worth it."

'Where was your hard hat?'

'Have I got this poster straight?'

'You forgot the product label.'

They didn't tell me what to do with it. I thought they told you what to do with it.

'Could I see your ground disturbance permit?!'

'Lift with your knees not your back.'