Safety Nerd Pillows

Idiot Driver Sensor System.

'...but the third little pig heeded government advice and built his house from blast proof concrete.'

"This is the only way Safety would approve the new swivel office chairs."

The Frankensteinlich Maneuver.

Book in library - 'Crash tests for dummies' (being read by a crash test dummy).

"The car you were conceived in was in an accident, but you weren't an accident."

"OSHA is going to hear about this!"

"Can we have a chat."

Wash your hands

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

On the brink.

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

'Please leave the light on, dear. I'm afraid there might be OSHA inspectors under the bed.' 'Managers at Night.'

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

"Helmet, check. Harness, check. Knee and elbow pads, check. You may now push the swing."

'I tell you what: If it weren't for the headrest, I would have serious whiplash right now...'

Job Safety - Pumpkin.

Caution signs.

Mother hen driving with 'Eggs on Board' sign.

Daddy showed me why I should always wear my bicycle helmet!

Health and safety notice falling on builder.

"Now that's a great number if you want to be protected from the entire environment."

Dr Ed Henderson demonstrates that it IS possible for someone to become too familiar with the safety rules.

"I think I found a location for our vacation."

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'

'So, how bad is it? Who can bring me up to speed?'

'Yeah, the job's got great benefits, but mainly I like the safe work environment.'

'Not without your helmet, you're not!'

'Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to our new 'health and safety' officer.'