Safety Maven Pillows

Remember when "risk management" wasn't a thing.

'Actually, it's a fake, but I've never been mugged.'

'Why can't the make an aeroplane out of the same material as the 'indestructable' black box?'

'Just follow these simple instructions.'

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

"Yeah, I know. bu tthe administration didn't want to appear culturally insensitive."

'She thinks it makes her look enigmatic.'

Man blending in to his chair is reading Optical Illusion Monthly magazine.

'Which fashion magazine do you recommend?'

'The good news is that it's not your fault.'

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

The end is near

'I'm a practical nurse! -- I know better than to listen to doctors!'

'How could it have been rough for you back in Pharmacy school, Dad? You only had penicillin and aspirin.'

Punch Magazine - "You've got a circulation problem."

Our parent company is not pleased with our work. They want all of us to register for a few remedial MBA courses.

Who Wore It Best?

A newspaper stand in a rural area.

"We really have to catch up on our New Yorkers."

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

"These printers can be pretty self-righteous when they present their bills."

"Bob put a chair with wheels on the table and climbed up to change a light bulb. Then the chair rolled away, Bob fell and... well, I guess we need a new industrial safety specialist."

Leisure Editor

Life is ghoul

Hog magazine with litters to the editor dept.

"It's 'Architectural Digest.' "

"Last chance, or Max here has ways of making you talk."

'No! That's not a wall safe, it's a porthole!'

'U.S. Manufacturing'

"That metallic grinding means her throwout bearings are shot. She's backfiring through her carburetor. The tick indicates transmission trouble, and the smoke means she's on fire."

'Side effects include, headache, dry mouth, muscle fatigue and turning into a frog.'

Nun reading 'Halo' magazine