Safety Drill Guru Pillows

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

"I see you've security marked your property."

'Well, Scout Smith, escort the little old lay across the street.'

"Don't forget to put some sunscreen on your tongue."

"Have your parents sign this waiver concerning violations of personal space. . . then you guys can play tag."

AI Safety Officer

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

'Let's try it once without the parachute.'

'Oops! Sorry! I should've said, 'buckle your seat belts'!'

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

"The sky looks blue because your protective lenses are tinted, dear."

"Geoffrey's a bit worried about lyme disease."

Job Safety - Hardhat.

"Today you will learn the 'Paper Cut' technique."

Beware of Everything

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."

Atlas carrying Earth about to slip on banana peel.

Nice park. . .

"We're going to have a post-flood economy to deal with."

Safest Airline in The World

'Fred, didn't I tell you to wear a helmet?'

"Trust me, with me in charge, your kid will behave and be safe..."

Hurricane damage to trees

'I'm here in case one of the actors actually does break a leg.'

The Future of Flight?

"Aaaughhh! Don't play with that!"

'Todd don't be such a clown...'

'It's an old work injury.'

"Maybe all spirit filled meetings should be held outside to avoid setting off the sprinklers."