Safe Driver Gifts

'I pulled you over because you were driving suspiciously.'

If you don't stop texting and driving, I'm pulling myself over and shutting myself off. Autocorrect.

Driving Habits - Past and Present.

Warning signs - for deer and cars.

"I coulda been killed had this not deployed. Thank god for my passenger's side handbag!

"Got any I.D.?"

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

Kangaroo mom to child, 'We're not going anywhere until you buckle-up, young man.'

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

'So much for your new Satnav!'

Doug fights back at soaring gas prices.

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

Three lanes of traffic with the first two lanes crowded with turtles. The third lane (to the left) a couple rabbits speeding along without any traffic. An easy pass sign has carrots replacing dollars.

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."

"It's an honest mistake I'm sure we'll never hear of again."

Stop, Smell Roses (stop and smell the roses)

Better times ahead.

Lady about flat tire: 'It's not too bad - it's only flat on the bottom.'

Exit Next Left

Through Traffic Keep Left/We're Through Traffic Keep Right

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

Just drive in small circles, then drop me off by that bush. Poober.

"No officer, I didn't what the speed limit was. Those signs were going by too fast."

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

"Remember, when you back up, make that 'beep beep' sound."

"I'm pretty sure my self-driving car is moonlighting for Uber behind my back."

'God's speed.'

"What gear are we in, biscuit?"

"Your driver will arrive in 4...9...17 minutes after three accidental loops around the airport."

'I told you not to rely on the sat-nav.'