Sacred Text Enthusiast Pillows

'Please hold your applause until I've read all ten.'

"Meet the scribe"

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

John Bunyan

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

'Is there an E-Reader Edition?'

Man embarrassed by a schoolboy's superior knowledge of Greek

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

Meet the Author

IMHOtep

Holy Bible

"You know, Father, they say the Old Testament is the new New Testament."

"Hypochondriac's handbook. A little passion project I'm working on;, or, rather, I would be working on."

Amimated illuminated Manuscript

Jesus wept

"This wandering in the desert for forty years thing -- It IS allegorical, isn't it?"

"He never lets you forget that he had a cameo in the Old Testament."

"A plague of frogs? Awesome!"

"Believe it or not this is the original stack of bibles that I perjured myself on."

"We only have the Bible."

"I can't believe the platypuses gave us $100 for our spot on the ark."

"Hold the front page!"

Express Mountain - 10 Commandments or Less

"The Bible does not say that!... And if it does, it's taken out of context!... And if it isn't, it's just a metaphor!... And if it's not, it's not a big deal!... And if it is, then that's just how things were done back then!... And if... er... shut up

'We're gonna skip the theatrics today and get right into the Word ...'

'So, read any good book lately?'

"I couldn't put in down boss. Hard hitting, straight to the point..sure to be a best seller."

Even in retirement, Moses kept his 'chops' up.

"I think we'll put it out as a self-help guide."

An early case of identity theft

"How's that computer manual coming along?"

"If you used a smaller font they would all fit on one tablet."