Sacred Humorist Pillows

"I was lucky -- my parents went to Heaven."

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

Priest's 'To do' list.

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

At the 2021 Religious Games

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

"Freshly ground pepper?"

Ten Commandments

Guru.

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

"Seriously, I used to be the staff of a guy named Moses, man the stories I could tell..."

"That's our new church mascot."

The Last upper: Novus Ordo Style

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

Pope tarts.

'Due to our failure to secure a holiday-relief organisty, the next hymn will also be sung to the tune of Chopsticks.'

'..Then people will say, 'Why can't dogs get married?'.. And then, 'Why can't cats and dogs marry?'..'

How's my sermon. . .

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."

Sermon Applause.

The Ten Really Cool Facts

'Meaning of life? You bet! Here, pull my finger.'