Sacred Humor Lovers Gifts

Submarine Sees Jesus Walking on Water

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

"That's our new church mascot."

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

'Right now I'm counting the blessings that we owe to Uncle Sam.'

"Bit big for a cherub, isn't it, Brother Ignatious?"

'Talking about Jesus is NOT name-dropping!'

"How does one experience the ultimate selfie? Swallow your cell phone."

"In heaven there are no trees."

"T.G.I.F."

"OK, OK, Dad. I'm up... I'm up."

'Great! So I'll run these by the focus groups and see how they go over.'

'As it's Sunday there will be 30 minutes browsing before the service begins.'

'In conclusion, it's more blessed to give than retrieve.'

"I was lucky -- my parents went to Heaven."

'No, I heard you snoring -- you just dreamed that you attained Nirvana.'

Moses parts the Red Sea.

Buster got religion in the pound and now works with other bad dogs.

"Oh yeah – They really are forever – Cool huh?"

"Not sure that's the graven image of Baal we were looking for."

'If your guru business is slow, do what I did. Get a professional website presence on the Internet. That's how you found me, right?'

Meditating cat. 'Hi! You have reached the 4th state of consciousness. We're not in right now...

Priest

'Every time one door closes, another one opens. Can you fix it?'

"I'm your guardian angel. But due to some technical glitz, I happen not to be invisible!"

Church Spire

'If we do meet again in the after-life, you don't know me, o.k.?'

'I create them, I liberate them from Egypt, I give them manna, and now they want me to make the sun stand still!'

Chicken nesting in a monk's head.

'Why should I pay you for washing the windows when the good Lord provides?'

"They hold up my halo!"

"It's important to remember my son; without evil, we would all be out of a job."