Sacred Humor Lovers Gifts

Submarine Sees Jesus Walking on Water

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

"That's our new church mascot."

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

'Right now I'm counting the blessings that we owe to Uncle Sam.'

"Bit big for a cherub, isn't it, Brother Ignatious?"

"Blessed are they who blow out birthday cakes candles, for they shall be de-lighted."

'Talking about Jesus is NOT name-dropping!'

"How does one experience the ultimate selfie? Swallow your cell phone."

"T.G.I.F."

"In heaven there are no trees."

"OK, OK, Dad. I'm up... I'm up."

'Great! So I'll run these by the focus groups and see how they go over.'

'In conclusion, it's more blessed to give than retrieve.'

'As it's Sunday there will be 30 minutes browsing before the service begins.'

'No, I heard you snoring -- you just dreamed that you attained Nirvana.'

Buster got religion in the pound and now works with other bad dogs.

"Not sure that's the graven image of Baal we were looking for."

Moses parts the Red Sea.

"Oh yeah – They really are forever – Cool huh?"

"I was lucky -- my parents went to Heaven."

Meditating cat. 'Hi! You have reached the 4th state of consciousness. We're not in right now...

'If your guru business is slow, do what I did. Get a professional website presence on the Internet. That's how you found me, right?'

'If we do meet again in the after-life, you don't know me, o.k.?'

"I'm your guardian angel. But due to some technical glitz, I happen not to be invisible!"

'I create them, I liberate them from Egypt, I give them manna, and now they want me to make the sun stand still!'

'Every time one door closes, another one opens. Can you fix it?'

Church Spire

Priest

Chicken nesting in a monk's head.

'Hello, Madame, we'd like to talk to you about cod...'

'Okay, now...while holding down the commandment key, type in the number ten.'

'Why should I pay you for washing the windows when the good Lord provides?'

"They hold up my halo!"