Rvers Pillows

"I spend so much time here at the office, I sold my home. Now I live in this RV in the parking lot."

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

Romance

"The GPS works great, we have satellite TV installed, the Sirius stereo sounds fantastic and our every move is tracked by Qualcomm. But could you turn around? I left me iphone at the house. . ."

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

Priest's 'To do' list.

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

A heart shaped cake

Fishing Tales

Halfway across the Hudson River Billy Joe realized he wasn't going to Elvis Island.

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

'A cousin to the hammerhead, here we see the allusive, yet, handy, multi-use shark.'

"If you let down your guard, I'll walk over the moat."

"I heard they mate for life."

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"I love it when we clear up issues between us."

Frog flirting.

Klimt Kiss Phones

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

Fish talking about fisherman

Couple of Pikeys.

"Not now, my love. I'm feeling preminstrel."

'He may have an opposable thumb, but she has him wrapped around her little finger.'

'Wow, this guy is DEEP.'

'How about joining us for a soda and pizza after the ceremony?'

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

'Can we sit in the balcony today? Huh? Can we?'

'I've got two tickets to Handel's Messiah -- What time do you get off work?'

"But until I do transmute lead into gold, maybe I could interest you in some lovely lead jewelry."

Turtle Trailer Court

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

"You two seem oddly suited."