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Home Schooled On The Range

"Static cling."

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

'Yes, we have a very diversified economy around here.'

"....Reception on my tablet is so much better since I added wifi to my mule..."

"I'm doing all I can to make the little things count."

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

"Ok Lassie, cut out the smart arse bit and just herd the sheep."

'Cows have bells because their horns don't work.'

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

'There'll be a special meeting of the board concerning the recent generous contribution of stock.'

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

Welcome to the urban farm. A bit of country in the city.

'My practice is limited to small animals, Sir....'

I've been doing sit-ups!

'Listen, McDonald, either knock off the E-I-E-I-O, or I call the sheriff!'

"Quick! Get your gun, Pa! Here come the suburbs."

Surburban Joys - Haymaking.

'Wilbur, I'm afraid the patient is no longer in stable condition.'

Slow, Men at Work.

"I'd better get a hit country song out of growing up this way."

'Are you paying in cash, check, credit card or livestockfarm produce?'

The Farmer's Return.

'That's the sign of a good painting!'

over crowded car.

'I'm afraid to a horse a carrot is just a carrot!'

"Sweet! He upgraded with a cup holder!"

As Jeff entered the remote country pub, he realised the locals were in-bred.

Anyone seen my horns?