Running Wit Pillows

"Oh I don't mind the jogging, but I think you tricked me. When you asked if I wanted to exercise, I thought you said, extra fries!"

"This position has become very important to the company."

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

Snowprov

Backfire

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

I'm a self-made man!

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'How would you feel about working in a small pond?'

"A one-word email reply... classic power move."

Czarcasm

Doggone

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

How are you at decision making?

Miss America IQ Pageant

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

'We'd like to pay you what you're worth, too, Fenstrom. Unfortunately we must conform to the minimum wage law.'

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

He used to pass the buck, since being promoted to management he gets to call it delegating authority.

"Your credentials are impressive, Carter but... quite frankly, Mr. Biggles doesn't seem to like you."

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

"That's a very difficult problem to address, Ted, could you restate it as a solution?"

"Damn it,Frank,if I can't bully my staff, who can I bully?"

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

It is believed dear Jack finally figured out women. Trouble is, he died laughing before he could tell anybody.

"I'm starting slowly with a trainer who just stands around talking about his personal life."

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

'I'm working with a bunch of cavemen.'

"No more thinking outside the box Bamford. From now on I want you to do all your thinking inside your box!"

"Miss Jones, bring me into the 21st century..."

'Please Henderson - Not another one of your bright ideas!'