Running Realist T-Shirts

"I can only run for 30 mins, it's the longest I can bare to be away from my phone."

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

'Hang in there, Larry, those endorphins will soon kick in.'

Road Forks in the Road: No Way and Yes Way.

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

'Your salary will help you learn the lesson that life is not fair.'

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"It's a shame, excellent recommendations and a superb skill set but lacks the boiling hot all consuming ambition and ruthless desire for self promotion required as head of stationary procurement."

"Slow down. I need another drink. Can we rest for a minute?"

"I hate this time of year."

I'm doing poorly, but that's without performance enhancing drugs.

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

"Just tell your parents you made the grade. Don't specify."

100k Desert Crawl

Fast Food Dieter

'We're almost 1/8th of the way there.'

Woman talking romantically whilst man talks about measuring the scullery.

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

'Would you mind terribly taking up some other sport besides long-distance running?'

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"

Great moments in science. . . 'Nice work, you've isolated the funding gene.'

"Now at this point reality intruded."

'Remember Jones, your organs are worth more to us than your intellectual property.'

"Well, you could wish for a new kitchen and a bathroom renovation; or alternatively you could just wish for a less idle husband."

A day at the FULL CIRCLE RANCH

'They had a sale on electric green.'

"Didn't we have a door over there?"

"You'll do laundry, you'll drink water...oh, and what's this? In the near future you'll clip your fingernails."

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

Warning Being Alive On This Planet May Cause Cancer

"Better get a move on, only 1,314,000 steps till Christmas."

'Be advised the information herein may not be current and is subject to change. Past performance is not necessarily indicative of future results.'

"Fourteen months ago, I started with H20. I just ended with H20."

'No, I haven't taken up jogging...A velociprator was after me!'

"I am exercising. I'm doing some online walking around an online mall."