Running Realist Pillows

"I can only run for 30 mins, it's the longest I can bare to be away from my phone."

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

'Hang in there, Larry, those endorphins will soon kick in.'

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

'Your salary will help you learn the lesson that life is not fair.'

"It's a shame, excellent recommendations and a superb skill set but lacks the boiling hot all consuming ambition and ruthless desire for self promotion required as head of stationary procurement."

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"I hate this time of year."

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

"Just tell your parents you made the grade. Don't specify."

"Slow down. I need another drink. Can we rest for a minute?"

I'm doing poorly, but that's without performance enhancing drugs.

100k Desert Crawl

Fast Food Dieter

'We're almost 1/8th of the way there.'

'Would you mind terribly taking up some other sport besides long-distance running?'

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"

Woman talking romantically whilst man talks about measuring the scullery.

Great moments in science. . . 'Nice work, you've isolated the funding gene.'

"Now at this point reality intruded."

'Remember Jones, your organs are worth more to us than your intellectual property.'

A day at the FULL CIRCLE RANCH

"Well, you could wish for a new kitchen and a bathroom renovation; or alternatively you could just wish for a less idle husband."

'They had a sale on electric green.'

"You'll do laundry, you'll drink water...oh, and what's this? In the near future you'll clip your fingernails."

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

"Didn't we have a door over there?"

Warning Being Alive On This Planet May Cause Cancer

'Be advised the information herein may not be current and is subject to change. Past performance is not necessarily indicative of future results.'

"Fourteen months ago, I started with H20. I just ended with H20."

'No, I haven't taken up jogging...A velociprator was after me!'

"I am exercising. I'm doing some online walking around an online mall."