Rumor Investigator Gifts

'Well, it is just my opinion, but it's backed by the best rumor and speculation the internet can provide.'

Every morning the office gossip was cascaded down...

"Some idiot spread the rumour that the boss had called in sick! Now look what's happened to the tobacco and coffee stocks!"

"I only told a few friends."

Official Rhetoric About Leakers and Whistleblowers, Translated

'Today on wall street, a rumor led to a rumor which raised fears of insider rumor-mongering.'

'She's the worst gossip I've ever come across.'

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

'STREWTH! Our firewall is down!' (Rupert and James Murdoch cease to be shielded after Rebekah Brooks resigns)

'We want to get maximum publicity on this, Klodnik, so release it to Wikileaks.'

CIA Espionage

"Facts are good, but we need all the rumors, gossip, and speculation to fully understand the situation."

Whatever Happened to Basic Standards at Newspapers?

"Evidence of Bigfoot or just some clown?"

Press spy infiltrates Buckingham palace dressed as a guard.

Newscorp hacks into itself.

'A WOMAN? -- Well, I'll be damned!'

"Quick - make something up, I've got a space to fill."

'That was one of my all-time great rumors.'

"Do you recognise the giraffe who hit you?"

"Boss, there's a rumor going around that someone lost a $1,000 bill in the cafe. There are like 200 people out there." "Interesting. And I assume they're all looking for the $1,000 bill. I assume they don't want anyone else to know about it before they find it." "I assume each of them is buying our food and drink so the others won't suspect they're here with ulterior motives." "I wonder who could have possibly spread such a rumor in the first place?" "Very bad man."

The News. Editor. Cough! Cough! That dry cough starts every time he makes a call. The editor is a "phone hacker"!

"It isn't just the media that's biased... often the voters are too."

"The Cheshire Cat has dentures. Pass it on."

'Rumors...'

"I can't approve of your office gossiping, Frank...and after you tell me the latest I want it to stop!"

Reporter #3: can.

I overheard management saying they were kicking you but I didn't hear if it was upstairs or out.

Reporter #2: plant.

Reporter #4: post box.

Reporter #5: fire.

News of the Underworld

'I hear there are some mighty big deer in these woods.'

"Damned lies."

'What's this rumor I hear, that they're putting saltpeter in Meals-On-Wheels!'