Rumor Detectives Gifts

They Shop Among Us

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

Every morning the office gossip was cascaded down...

"Some idiot spread the rumour that the boss had called in sick! Now look what's happened to the tobacco and coffee stocks!"

'She's the worst gossip I've ever come across.'

'Today on wall street, a rumor led to a rumor which raised fears of insider rumor-mongering.'

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

"Facts are good, but we need all the rumors, gossip, and speculation to fully understand the situation."

"Well, obviously the victim had a French enemy."

"The sheep all have rabies. Pass it on."

"Quick - make something up, I've got a space to fill."

'That was one of my all-time great rumors.'

"The Cheshire Cat has dentures. Pass it on."

Turn on the news. I will not comply. My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story. There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on Rocky Road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills. Who told you this? Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy.

I Can't Believe It's Not Fake News

'Pss-st, Harley-Davidson is up one-and-a-quarter...pass it on.'

"So, you've got butterflies in your stomach, a bug in your ear and a bee in your bonnet. Any other complaints?"

'He died of too much money.'

'Rumors...'

"I can't approve of your office gossiping, Frank...and after you tell me the latest I want it to stop!"

"Damned lies."

"Ha! I found you . . . and with my wife!"

"I'll have an extra large conspiracy burger with anti-semitism, plenty of racism, stupidity and a load of crap."

'That's all I can say - I've already told you twice as much as I know!'

'I hear there are some mighty big deer in these woods.'

"No one else, huh! So who the hell is sending you a pigeon at four in the morning?!"

"Look at these tabloid magazines! Gossip is a venomous misuse of the tongue!"

'What's this rumor I hear, that they're putting saltpeter in Meals-On-Wheels!'

I overheard management saying they were kicking you but I didn't hear if it was upstairs or out.

'What's with all the Pumpkin Pies?'

'Is the information fresh?'

A man is tied to a chair and forced to watch TV news.

'Is it true what they say'

'Ok, let me get this straight; your friend Kristyn is no longer coming to have supper with us because Danielle told you that Tracy heard from Holly that her sister Melissa thought she saw Kristyn in the mall talking to your old boyfriend?'

"I never believe office gossip unless it's backed by some substantial rumors."