Rumor Enthusiast Gifts

Two desks manned by women - one marked 'information' the other marked 'gossip and rumors'.

'I never repeat gossip, so listen carefully the first time.'

"I prefer to think of myself as an opinion former."

"I can't approve of your office gossiping, Frank...and after you tell me the latest I want it to stop!"

"Quick - make something up, I've got a space to fill."

'She's the worst gossip I've ever come across.'

'Today on wall street, a rumor led to a rumor which raised fears of insider rumor-mongering.'

"What's the word on the street?"

"The Cheshire Cat has dentures. Pass it on."

You are the epicenter of the office gossip.

"Facts are good, but we need all the rumors, gossip, and speculation to fully understand the situation."

Shhh! don't tell anyone!

'I've told you all the half truths I know - Let's hear some of yours.'

Let's meet for a drink after work. I've got office gossip you can't appreciate without a buzz.'

'That was one of my all-time great rumors.'

"Turkey?! No! They eat GOAT on Thanksgiving. I heard they even have a special table for you called the 'kid's' table. Sucker!"

"I love a neighbour with a great sense of rumour."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Support the Ex-Troops

Police Feline Unit

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'